...and sweat in the workout so you don't bleed in the battlefield"; my friend Jeremy's, DAV, sent me those phrases he was taught during his time in the Marine Corps. I talk to him (usually, via email) at work about my workouts and hikes, runs etc. and he shares with me his desire to be active; he has an injury to his foot that goes unresolved by the CA medical. It's because of people like Jeremy that I go to work and give it my all, in spite of the stress of the way the VA is managed. Today, I stayed home- not because I'm sick but because I'm tired. The drag of how the system doesn't work for veterans wears me down. So, today, as I did on Monday, I'll do my crossFit homework Chad assigned, go for a run, run errands and join an early Crossfit class- and I will LOVE my day and thank God for it.
Monday, I went to CrossFit 2nd Nature for an early class and did the open, instead. I wasn't signed up before then and I didn't plan on it because I don't want to see my name on the bottom of the world-wide page. But, co-owner & coach Ryan and his wife, coach Jill were there and gently nudged me in that direction. Coach Bernard was teaching the class on one side of the box and those in the open were on the other side. Amy Hernandez was my coach and score keeper; she put me at ease and was very encouraging. 15:1 scaled: 15 knee-ups, 10 deadlifts, and 5 clean & jerks. Then, one rep max clean & jerk. I finished with 115 reps and 60 lb one rep. :( I left there feeling so bad about myself. I went to Towsley Canyon for a hike and cried the entire 3 miles. I am competitive by nature and it creeps into everything I do and every aspect of my life: work, fun, fighting cancer, dishes, driving- everything becomes a competition, for me, so, walking away with that score crushed me. It reminded me of where I am, where I came from and just how far I need to go. I cut my hike short and came home and did my Chadwork; my left shoulder ached from something I did over the weekend but, like the open, I pushed through. This on top of my run score from Race on the Base, Saturday, really made me sad.
Last night, during my one-on-one with Chad we talked about the open and I told him that I cried, afterwards. He told me to not feel bad about anything. It's a good thing that I competed. He made me laugh and feel good about myself as we worked through the hour. He's a wonderful coach and an awesome human being. Right now, he's 7th regionally! He is amazing. I study his videos on Instagram every day in hopes of perfecting my technique. If it weren't for Chads instruction on the hang at and cleans I would not have had one rep during the 15:1!! So, Chad said I should go to regionals when he competes at the end of the five-week competition. I will go - the entire box should go! San Diego here we come!
Oh, yea, breast cancer...two more infusions! Next week and then the last one three weeks later. Tamoxefin for five years. I am, still, dealing with hot flashes. They are unbelievably debilitating!!! I don't notice, or don't have, them while exercising, though. My breast has a lump beneath the red mark from radiation. I'm told not to worry about it, so, I won't. Other than that, there's nothing else remarkable about that breast- it looks, pretty much, like it did before cancer.
My thoughts and mood are getting better. My hair is growing in slowly - still gray and thinner than before but, it's coming. I'm 60 pounds lighter than before cancer and have a waistline- so important for women's health and self esteem!!!!!
Joe? He's Joe. We aren't hurting each other but, I'm not as invested as I was, either. I respect him and keep to myself as he does, too.
Natalia? Great, as always!! Beautiful, loving, compassionate and funny!!
Until next time...
