Has the chapter on breast cancer ended? No, noone's chapter on breast cancer ends- even in death. So long as there is research and/or an ancestor of a breast cancer patient the chapter is never closed.
I posed a question, "now what?" and it's been answered; in every blog post & journal entry. The "now" in "now what?" has emerged. That's the answer- now. Do it now. Now is surgery, now is radiation, now is chemo, now is riding horses, now is hiking, now is working, now is exercise, now is praying, now is making amends, now is loving friends & family, now is forgiving, now is letting go, now is standing up, now is fighting back, now is living.
My journey has shifted focus from breast cancer and treatment to living the best way I know how; nurturing the body, mind and spirit.
Am I afraid cancer will return as my mother's did? Those thoughts creep in every now and then since my last infusion (April 2), but, I tell myself it's not my mother's cancer and I pray. I am not steeled against cancer, by any means. I don't want what might be to consume the 'now' of living. Of course, cancer will haunt me for the rest of my life but I must soldier on in a positive light lest I die from fear & negativity. It's the 'now' I choose.
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