The Doctor's Report

THE DOCTOR SAYS...

 

...my body is taking chemo like a 'tank'! With a smile Dr. Glaspy gave me the good news, "you are a tank!" My body has taken the first round of chemo very well. My aches and pains and other complaints are nothing! The signs to look out for - that would indicate a problem - I don't have. He was happy to report, but I was happier to hear! Now, I can deal with what I feel and know I, really, am okay, as he told me before. I am having a period and the doctor said that's okay, too. I may have them all the way through or they may stop at some point...either way, it's okay. My nails are not discolored, my hair is still intact, no swelling, no vomiting, etc. Today, I feel pretty, darn, good. If not for the sore throat I picked up at work on Monday or Tuesday, I feel almost normal. This is a wonderful thing. I can weather through the next round knowing the discomfort will pass. I left the office without needing labs, too.

 

We talked about other things as well (my companion journal has this info) and I felt great after talking to him about them. Dr. Glaspy will do whatever is within his power to preserve my well-being. That give me great comfort.

 

I stayed home from work again today because of my sore throat. I am hoping this will pass over the weekend and I can put in a full week next week.

 

Am I too hard on Natalia? No, I don't want her to be consumed with me and lurking around every corner to see if I am okay nor do I want her worrying about my survivability. I don't want her losing the part of her that is compassionate, though. I know what it is to look back and REGRET not saying or doing something different before I lost a loved one. What was I thinking? That is a hard memory to live with. I am all Natalia has ever had, consistently. How would she live with herself, as an adult, when she is more aware, with a memory of dismissing her mother or complained about helping her? Natalia is a big-hearted, sensitive girl who has found it a form of escape to act like Joe. She has to know that it's okay to have all the emotions raging through her and to learn, in a healthy way, to address them. I want her to have fun with friends and continue doing 'teen' things but, I don't want the shopping sprees and lure of shutting out reality to permeate her being. I love her too much and she loves me too much. You can believe I will keep her on this side of the ledge.