Thank God.. .

...NOTHING CATASTROPHIC

My physical self has been as well as it can be. It has been, nearly, 3 weeks since chemo and,  although,  I feel well but my body is weak and tired. I can't force it to not be what it is. I can sleep 12 - 14 hours. My thighs burn just walking up the stairs. The slightest stretch pains my hamstrings. I can't close the hatch on the Explorer. Weak and tired. My skin is grey, thin and blotched. I am the ugliest person I know. 

Mentally, wow, I'm slipping like I did when I was first told I had cancer. I'm feeling like I have 5 years, tops to live.  I can't see myself old. It makes me sad. I can't imagine myself healthy like I want to be. I see myself jogging and fit,  happy and content but I can't see the road that will get me there. I am frustrated and sad. 

My school work is fine. I'm getting hits for format errors in the APA assignments. I don't care. I know exactly the errors as they happen. I'm rushed and sick and I know the paper I'm writing will still earn an A. So why does it bother me that the instructor hasn't figured that out? 

That's it. I'm tired.